Tears of My Mother by Wendy Osefo

Author:Wendy Osefo
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2022-09-20T00:00:00+00:00

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MY FINAL YEARS of college went by in a blink. College was a unique time of life when all I had to do was soak up knowledge. An education isn’t limited to what you learn in the classroom, though. Throughout those four years, I learned about myself. During my childhood, I was always busy finding my footing at a new school. I hadn’t had much of a chance to look inside and figure out who I was and what I wanted.

I learned about my family: the reality of our being less well-off than I thought and our painful history. I had to leave home to gain this knowledge. I learned that I didn’t have to follow in the footsteps of my mother. I could, and did, blaze trails of my own, as the first member of our family to join Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated, for example.

As for my idolization of Mom, of how proud I was when others admired her, I realized that to some extent, I was just another one of her admirers. Despite our closeness, we weren’t emotionally open with each other. As an adult, I felt I should be treated more like a friend. I wanted Mom to be straight with me, to allow me to know her truth and for her to know mine. Like Mom, I intended to leave my mark on the world. But even more, it was important for me to leave my mark on her, to become a person she could admire not just for her own redemption or bragging rights. I wanted to impress her personally, to hear her say, with words, that I’d done all right. Facial expressions and sounds alone would not be enough.

I wasn’t sure what I needed to do to become someone she’d admire, but I definitely knew what she expected of me. The first step toward shifting our relationship toward equality and mutual admiration was becoming a lawyer. I would get my Nigerian daughter “success” badge. Once I had that, perhaps we could move into a new phase where we became friends.

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